Simply Successful

I woke up feeling anxious the other day. And instead of leaping out of bed to get to my “to do” list, I took a few minutes to deep breathe and try to get beyond the obvious causes of my distress.

I ran through the list of of what was bothering me: trying to take my coaching business to the next level, the plumbers that just gouged us due to a flooded basement at midnight, and the bathrooms demanding to be cleaned. (And I TRULY hate to clean.)

Since I was defying one of my own rules, which is to focus on what’s working rather than on what’s NOT working, it was no mystery that I got even more anxious. But I held tight for a moment longer and another deep breath.

Then it hit me: I was focusing on the “How” vs the “What.” The questions that were going through my mind were all about how I was going to get what I wanted vs what I really wanted to manifest in my life: “How am I going to get enough clients to match my former corporate salary?” “How are we going to deal with a moldy basement?” and “How am I ever going to find the time to clean this whole house?”

Since I had already held myself back for a few minutes longer than I usually allow, I decided to take another few minutes and make the conscious choice to shift my thoughts to the end result, which in this case, was a thriving business, dry basement and sparkling bathrooms.

I thought about each “desire” in turn and pictured the end result. Even more importantly, I let myself FEEL what it would be like to experience those end results: peaceful, energized, secure, joyful, confident, powerful, and, well – clean!

Before I knew it, a smile started to spread over my formerly frowning visage. I remembered the many many times I have reminded clients to focus first and foremost on what they desire, in as much detail as they can, focusing on how they’ll feel once they’ve manifested their desires. And to their protests of how they were going to get there, I always answered: “it’s not your job to worry about the how, the Universe already has that taken care of.”

The tough thing about being a coach is that you have to live what you believe. It’s also the great thing about being a coach. I took my own advice and was soon humming as I made my coffee, put on some classical music and sat down to do some journaling. My favorite way to start out the morning.

As I write, I’ve already put in 5 enjoyable hours into business activities, whipped through one bathroom (the small one, admittedly!) and called the plumber to fix some things I was too groggy to notice at midnight last night.

Is the path to my desires totally clear? No. But as I focus on the “what,” the “how” starts to appear – one step at a time. And that’s all it takes to get where you want to go. One step at a time.

And by continuing to focus on what I want and how it’s going to make me feel, I find that I can access those feelings NOW. And feeling peaceful, energized, secure, joyful, confident and powerful (and clean…) is so much more fun than feeling anxious. Give it a try!

6 Comments | Tags: anxiety, manifesting desires, stress relief

How many times do you smile during the day? For some of us, it comes naturally. For others, it may take a little more effort. But a sincere smile is worth it’s weight in gold for both the giver and receiver.

A story has made the rounds on the internet recently about a seriously addicted heroin addict who cured himself by smiling for 60 seconds 10 times every day. I can’t confirm the validity of the story, but it has been proven that smiling increases our serotonin levels: our “feel good” neurotransmitter.

Smiling is one of the easiest, fastest and most cost effective ways to feel better fast. (And the better we feel, the easier it is to attract what we want in life!) Perhaps the most quoted philosophy on smiling comes from Dale Carnegie’s book How To Win Friends and Influence People: “It costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.”

It takes fewer facial muscles to smile then it does to frown, so smiling is “energy-effective” in terms of the effort it takes. The hardest thing for most of us, though, is to put on a sincerely happy face when we’re feeing stressed, overwhelmed and out of sorts.

Practice helps, though. I decided to try plastering a smile on my face for 60 full seconds three times a day, particularly when I was having one of those “nothing is going my way” type of days.

At first it felt ridiculous – and I did it behind closed doors. I set the timer, smiled for 60 seconds and then went back to the comfort of frowning and mentally complaining about whatever was going wrong.

After practicing my forced smiling for about a week, I reflected that while I hadn’t exactly cured myself of all MY addictions (like downing a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream in one sitting,) the smiling really did help me feel better, and I was unconsciously taking it out into the world.

We all react well to smiles. The English politician and writer Joseph Addison once wrote: “What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity.” In fact, when you walk into a room, what people notice first is what you’re wearing on your face.

So while I started out with a selfish motive of wanting to feel better myself, upping my smile quotient has been a win-win. I’ve been able to avert potential conflicts with a smile, persuade service people to help me, meet new people, and receive the energy of some beautiful smiles in return!

I’ve decided to up my smiling practice to 60 seconds four times a day. Who knows, maybe I WILL be able to cure myself of the Chunky Monkey habit!

39 Comments | Tags: Smiling, success

How well are your thoughts and beliefs matching up with what you want to create in life? How conscious are you of any self-defeating patterns and thoughts that might be getting in the way of your success?

One great way to see what’s REALLY going on in our subconscious “monkey” brains, is to state an affirmation or visualize what you want to create in your life, such as “I intend to generate $200K/year in passive income by the end of 2010″ – and then see what “tail-enders” come up. The voices saying – “in your wildest dreams” – are indicators of beliefs that you need to eradicate.

A belief is just a thought you’ve been thinking over and over – but boy – are they powerful. Take some time to listen for the “tail-enders” – the gremlins – the voices in your head – and ask yourself where they’re coming from. Is it the voice of your Mother or Father or another relative or authority figure? When did you first “learn” that it wasn’t ok to make a lot of money? That it couldn’t be done without tremendous struggle and sacrifice? That it wasn’t RIGHT to make a lot of money serving others? That money doesn’t make you happy?

Try something new, such as: “Even though my parents taught me that money doesn’t grow on trees, I forgive them, and I forgive myself for believing them, and I choose to KNOW that I can make a lot of money, serve others, and be happy, too!” These “choice” phrases are used often in an energy-psychology process called EFT: The Emotional Freedom Technique – and can be tremendously effective in clearing out our past patterns. Get your “Match Game” in good shape and just watch for the signs as your desires start to flow to you quickly and easily!

(For more on EFT – check out the EFT Tab at  http://www.dianechew.com.)

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Successful people are adept at setting goals and meeting them. But it can be a trap for us over-achievers who can’t relax unless they are “accomplishing” something. We are human BE-ings, not human Do-ings, but that’s hard to internalize in our fast paced, pressurized world. In the words of Abraham-Hicks, however,  (http://www.abraham-hicks.com)  ”you can’t get it wrong, and you never get it done,” because there will ALWAYS be yet another goal and another achievement to reach for, no matter how many accomplishments you have to your credit. Learning to enjoy the journey is a major key to living Simply Successfully. You don’t go on a vacation to get home – you go on vacation to enjoy the journey. Try approaching your own life like one big vacation. There are SO many sights to see, challenges to overcome, new people to meet, and mishaps to laugh over later. Your life is happening NOW – don’t let it pass you by. Enjoy!

5 Comments | Tags: accomplishment, enjoying life, success

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP-eXxOpQU8 Maybe if we all had more fun taking the stairs, we’d be in awesome shape!

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Everybody has their own definition of success. And every avatar purports that without a vision of success, it’s almost impossible to achieve. I couldn’t agree more. But too often, I find that our visions are so big – and we have them for so many areas of our life –  that they can be overwhelming. Particularly if you’re feeling stuck with a large gap between where you are and where you want to be. One tip that has helped many of my clients is to try redefining success as “anything you get completed in a day.” This includes making the bed, brushing your teeth, taking your vitamins, calling your mother, taking a walk, writing two paragraphs for that proposal due next week….ANYTHING!  Taking 5 minutes to jot down everything you’ve accomplished in a day gets your energy flowing in a positive direction and sets you up for success the next day. Too often, we go to bed thinking of all that we DIDN’T accomplish – and the law of attraction dictates that whatever we focus on grows. So – focus on what you’ve accomplished, and you’ll experience accomplishing more!

5 Comments | Tags: law of attraction